I just got another funny email, not my first. I usually get about two or three a month. Always from well meaning friends or distant acquaintances. Yes you know the type of mails I mean. The ones that tell you've been sent a loving angel to rescue your soul and then requires you to send it on to five or ten others within 8 minutes, so that something that you've been waiting for can be visited upon you...
I've given up waiting on this manna from heaven to arrive... I usually hope it's lady Luck or in recent times a call about some job I applied for. If all else fails, I hope it's some distant ex calling me up say she's had an epiphany and wants to give it another go. But alas I'm still single and jobless.
But this doesn't stop us pestering our other friends with the same crap. The number of people who tell me to stop sending them this waste of time and energy, then a couple of weeks later I'll get a version from them.
Lets look at the one sent to me today, it's opening line was:
FATE DECIDES WHO ENTERS YOUR LIFE, BUT ACTIONS DECIDES WHO STAYS IN YOUR LIFE.
Well first is the grammatical error of the second "decides" it should read "decide", what happened to attention to detail. If you have the time to forward this junk to half the planet you can certainly run a spell checker over it...
True or false? Er I suppose to a point.. If you see a nice girl at the Bus Stop, are you entitled to start chatting her up without coming across as some sort of pest.
Next
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
Here's the hook line, were all suckers for this type of prose. The best motivation I ever need is the one in my head. "Everyday you can get out of bed is a good day".
Now the nitty gritty...
1.. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
Ok, here I can think of two, three If I count my mother... Awwwh
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
I don't have that many close friends, they probably love me because I owe the money. I hang with a heartless and greedy bunch.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
I'm no George Clooney, I'm unemployed and a year left on the good side of forty and I share a house with my mother. If anyone wants this life, a large monetary sum will secure it...
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep
I wish they'd phone me before hand, because I'm hard pressed to think of anyone. If it's because they fancy me, I wished they do something about it... Being part of their fantasies is one thing. But I'd rather be part of their reality.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
Yes we all know these types of people it's usually Traffic Wardens, or the guy or girl now going out with your ex. I have another way of viewing this, he who laughs last laughs least.
Then they always end by pushing the mushy saccharine message down your throat...
Good friends are like stars.....You don't always see them, But you know they are always there.
How much of a good friend are if you don't see them that often, only when you need something or they do. I make sure to see my good friends at least once a week or talk to them by phone on a near daily basis. Some people may say thats smothering them...
Today's mail followed that previous nugget with this....
'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway.'
Yes it is "Hell in the Hallway". For me it's a hallway 6 months long and with a faint glimmer of light. So either the electricity is on the blink or the windows need cleaning.
Then there was this...
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.
and these...
Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keeps You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going
The old adage goes - Keep it simple stupid, these fools have obviously never heard of flogging a dead horse.
'Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'
Of course she looks around and looks back, because the boss has just looked over Faith's shoulder and caught her reading a personal email... The reason she finally looks up is because he's standing there with her coat and bag.
I've given up waiting on this manna from heaven to arrive... I usually hope it's lady Luck or in recent times a call about some job I applied for. If all else fails, I hope it's some distant ex calling me up say she's had an epiphany and wants to give it another go. But alas I'm still single and jobless.
But this doesn't stop us pestering our other friends with the same crap. The number of people who tell me to stop sending them this waste of time and energy, then a couple of weeks later I'll get a version from them.
Lets look at the one sent to me today, it's opening line was:
FATE DECIDES WHO ENTERS YOUR LIFE, BUT ACTIONS DECIDES WHO STAYS IN YOUR LIFE.
Well first is the grammatical error of the second "decides" it should read "decide", what happened to attention to detail. If you have the time to forward this junk to half the planet you can certainly run a spell checker over it...
True or false? Er I suppose to a point.. If you see a nice girl at the Bus Stop, are you entitled to start chatting her up without coming across as some sort of pest.
Next
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
Here's the hook line, were all suckers for this type of prose. The best motivation I ever need is the one in my head. "Everyday you can get out of bed is a good day".
Now the nitty gritty...
1.. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
Ok, here I can think of two, three If I count my mother... Awwwh
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
I don't have that many close friends, they probably love me because I owe the money. I hang with a heartless and greedy bunch.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
I'm no George Clooney, I'm unemployed and a year left on the good side of forty and I share a house with my mother. If anyone wants this life, a large monetary sum will secure it...
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep
I wish they'd phone me before hand, because I'm hard pressed to think of anyone. If it's because they fancy me, I wished they do something about it... Being part of their fantasies is one thing. But I'd rather be part of their reality.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
Yes we all know these types of people it's usually Traffic Wardens, or the guy or girl now going out with your ex. I have another way of viewing this, he who laughs last laughs least.
Then they always end by pushing the mushy saccharine message down your throat...
Good friends are like stars.....You don't always see them, But you know they are always there.
How much of a good friend are if you don't see them that often, only when you need something or they do. I make sure to see my good friends at least once a week or talk to them by phone on a near daily basis. Some people may say thats smothering them...
Today's mail followed that previous nugget with this....
'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway.'
Yes it is "Hell in the Hallway". For me it's a hallway 6 months long and with a faint glimmer of light. So either the electricity is on the blink or the windows need cleaning.
Then there was this...
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.
and these...
Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keeps You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going
The old adage goes - Keep it simple stupid, these fools have obviously never heard of flogging a dead horse.
'Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'
Of course she looks around and looks back, because the boss has just looked over Faith's shoulder and caught her reading a personal email... The reason she finally looks up is because he's standing there with her coat and bag.
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